I fought a covert battle with depression for far too long. I was behind enemy lines fighting hand to hand but putting on an act like nothing was happening.
Talking to friends & family:
I’ve felt the deep shame that goes hand in hand with battling an illness that’s “all in your head”. I fought a covert battle with depression for far too long. I was behind enemy lines fighting hand to hand but putting on an act like nothing was happening. There were times that I would mention to friends/family that I’d not slept well, or that I needed to spend time alone due to anxiety. But for the most part, no one knew just how bad things were. When I did start to open up (after I’d been fired from my second job) I got a lot of blank looks from friends and family. It’s not that they didn’t want to help. It’s that they didn’t understand depression. Depression can be considered a weakness in our society. It’s looked down upon by many that are not aware of the facts. I feel like things are getting better and more people are beginning to understand what it’s all about, perhaps from pharmaceutical advertisements or knowing someone else that’s battling it as well. But it can be very hard to find someone to confide in that really understands and isn’t so far down the depression rabbit hole themselves to drag you down with them. I’m not open with everyone about my struggle (well now that it’s on the internet I am, of course), but I’m not fighting the covert battle I used to be. I’ve found a core group of people that I can really dig in with and share the hard stuff. For most everyone else I may share that I’ve struggled, but I don’t open myself up to hearing a wide array of opinions on the subject.
You can be open with as many people as you like; just be aware that it takes a certain kind of person to listen and be truly helpful. Others can be so busy giving poor advice that they forget to listen. My inner circle listens and together we work on our struggles. We keep it positive most of the time, and don’t get mired in the muck of our situations. The open dialog has helped a great deal in sorting through my thoughts and feelings when my thoughts and feeling were not being honest with me. It becomes much easier to open up to the world about your struggle once you’re getting the help you need. So get that help from a doctor or psychiatrist, sit down with a counselor and don’t fight this battle alone. Today is the day we drop the shame we’ve been carrying. It’s time to come into the light and begin to live again. Be confident. You can beat this.
If you know someone else that has battle depression and you’d like to confide in them, you may find it helpful to share this website with them. You can both get on the same page and work together through the steps.